Posthumous Perspective on a Porn Queen

Early Life
Colleen Applegate was a gorgeous platinum blonde who lived in Farmington, Minnesota.  She left home at 18 for Los Angeles, California, and would only return home to Minnesota two years later for her funeral and burial. She died in Los Angeles after two brief but tumultuous, years in the pornography industry. Her story began like anyone else’s. She had what appeared to be an ordinary life. Her mother Karen insists there was “nothing strange about her childhood. She had a very ordinary childhood.” Colleen had four siblings in a Roman Catholic family. She was the eldest of five children. She was a cheerleader, popular and usually had a boyfriend. She and Karen, however, didn’t seem to share a good relationship, at least not once Colleen reached her teens.  Karen was very strict with Colleen. She saw the world in black and white terms: “to me right’s right and wrong’s wrong…but they’re going to do what they want to do anyway.”  Karen and Colleen fought about the type of issues that arise between all mothers and daughters: curfews, boys, homework. It’s easy to envision screaming matches and brooding silences between mother and daughter. Colleen probably stayed out all night from time to time to avoid her mother, and slipped out whenever she was grounded. Analysis: People who belong to organized religion seem to have very defined perimeters for behavior. Morality is exceptionally important and, in extreme cases, normal childhood stages can be treated as abhorrent behavior.

Colleen’s father, Phil, admits he “was a tough father” and that he “tried to run a house like a business.” It’s doubtful that there was any physical abuse, but Colleen didn’t appear to be an especially happy girl. A good friend of hers named Lisa Sikinater, commented “she always appeared happier than she was.” Karen states that her relationship with Colleen was fine until her junior and senior year of high school when she began dating a boy named Mike Marcel. The two made an attractive, young, blonde couple. Something about the Marcel boy troubled Karen, however. It may simply have been that the mother-daughter bond was already deteriorated beyond repair, or there may have been a legitimate reason for Karen’s disapproval of Mike.

Colleen’s friends remember she had dreams of becoming a model. For a small town of less than 4,000, Colleen had glamorous, yet vague ambition. In a decidedly un-glamorous move, while working one night at the phone company, she swallowed a bottle of pills. Her parents both insisted she didn’t want to kill herself; she wanted attention. Karen was

very angry with her. The family attended one therapy session and didn’t return. Karen commented that they sat around and “no one was saying anything.” Later, Karen decided it was “a beginning sign of a problem”. Many people gossiped about Colleen afterward and she and Mike headed to California. Analysis: Colleen tried to kill herself and her parents’ reaction was one of apathy and anger. Neither parent believed her suicide attempt was sincere. This is an abnormal parental reaction to a child’s suicide attempt. Refusing to discuss Colleen’s obviously severe emotional problems and attending only one therapy session reflected that fact.

World Modelling and Jim South
The small town of Farmington was soon abuzz with rumors about Colleen and her attempted overdose. In response, she and Mike left Farmington and relocated in Los Angeles. Work was very difficult for them to find. Colleen found herself in the porn industry quite by accident. Mike found an ad called “World Modelling“, run by Jim South. Without knowing what “figure modelling” meant, he sent Colleen there to audition. After she completed one job, he discovered the pictures were of soft porn; they showed a fresh-faced Colleen, bare-breasted, posing in a cowgirl outfit. Mike was furious and ordered her not to return, but she refused to be controlled, much the same way she had with her parents. Mike ended the relationship and returned to Farmington, where he spread the news that Colleen was involved in pornography. Analysis: For the first time Colleen is truly alone in the world. She has left her family and friends behind and is struggling to make a living through pornography. For a young woman who had been raised in a strict Roman Catholic household, her situation must have been overwhelming. Colleen took the work for practical reasons: she needed money, However, Colleen deliberately remained with World Modelling because it was a rebellious reaction to her strict, oppressive upbringing.

Penthouse photographer, Steve Hicks, worked with Colleen. He stated she was very unaware of her own beauty. Generally, that happens in families where children aren’t encouraged about their personal traits or life goals. Interestingly, most of the girls who arrive at World Modelling are from the Mid-West. The majority of them are emotionally fragile; a euphemism for oppressed, sexually abused, and alone in the world. Hicks claimed Colleen took to nude modelling with ease. “It’s unfortunate that Mother Nature puts 18 year old girls on this planet with beautiful bodies, because the mind of an 18 year old girl is not prepared to make the right kind of decisions in  
this town, with these opportunities”. Yet. he is happy to use those 18 year old girls to make his living. Hicks claimed he urged Colleen to get out of nude modelling as soon as possible, since it “leads downhill; after all the magazines have used her, the only thing left is X-rated movies.“

When two of Colleen’s good friends visited her in Los Angeles. they were confronted with Colleen’s idea of nude modelling: explicit pictures of her in Velvet, Hardcore, and Erotica stunned them. They’d pictured softcore magazines, such as Playboy. Colleen went so far as to try to manipulate her friends into joining World Modelling, and told them she’d made appointments for them with Jim South. She lied stating they “wouldn’t have to take their clothes off.” Her friends refused, and offered to find Colleen a regular job back in Farmington, but Colleen wasn’t interested. She simply wouldn’t return where she felt she wasn’t wanted. Analysis: Colleen’s already shaky self-esteem meant she felt poorly about her career and tried to reassure herself by inviting her friends into nude modelling,. It was very important to her that her friends continue to respect and love her, even though she degraded herself. The nude modelling and reassurances from photographers about her beauty, were substitutes for the love and affection she once sought from her parents.

Bobby Hollander
When her parents discovered Colleen was involved in pornography, they flew to Los Angeles and confronted Jim South. He passed them Colleen’s book and insisted she was of age and consent. They tried to bring her home with them and of course, she refused. She didn’t tell them her address and after they returned home, they were unable to contact her for two months. Not long after her parents’ departure, a porn director named Bobby Hollander recruited her for his films. Colleen’s first soft core pornographic film was called Paper Dolls. He insisted to Frontline that the days when a girl had to sleep with someone to get into a film were over, and that he didn’t try to “take [her[ to bed”.  By the time she went into film, she had only been nude modelling for 2 months.  Just as Steve Hicks had forewarned, now she was on her way into pornographic film. Among her films were Electric Blue 10, Goddess,  Suzy Superstar,  (and another Suzy Superstar clip)
Analysis: Colleen’s parents never had control over her in Farmington during her high school year. it was ridiculous for them to think they could control her in Los Angeles,where she now lived on her own and supported herself. Their efforts were too little too late. If anything, they fueled her fire to defy them.

Jake Ehrlich
Jake Ehrlich, a drug dealer in Los Angeles, saw a picture of Colleen in Penthouse magazine and approached Hollander about meeting his “fantasy.” When Colleen met him, he was surprised: she looked like a young, farm girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen at the most. But that very night, Colleen stayed overnight at his house and never left. Officially, Jake and Colleen became a couple, not a good situation for Colleen, who had begun to dabble in cocaine. When Lisa Sikinator visited Colleen at Jake’s home, they had a party where drugs were being used by everyone present. Lisa recalls using a drug called “Jerry’s Kids“, because “it makes you feel retarded.” After this frightening experience, Lisa never visited Colleen again.

For a time, Colleen was very happy. She quit the porn industry, living off of her affluent boyfriend. She even contacted Karen for recipes and to talk about her happy relationship with Jake. Eventually, however, Jake was arrested for dealing cocaine and was sent to prison for 2 years.  In the meantime, Colleen returned to pornographic film to support herself and her drug habit. She remained at Jake’s house, holding parties and spending great amounts of his money. During that time, Colleen was a presenter at the 8th Annual Erotic Film Awards, and three of her earlier performances were nominated. Seated at her table was Francis Ford Coppola. A shame he didn’t recruiter her for a real Hollywood vehicle. Colleen discovered she was still very much in demand for hardcore porn. That very evening she was signed to a new erotic film and was to begin filming in 8 days. It was exactly 7 days before her suicide.

Young Women, Porn and Profits – Michelle Hamilton
ABC’s 20/20 interviewed Michelle,  a former porn star, about her degrading and dangerous foray into the pornographic industry. Like Colleen, she was a cheerleader in high school and hailed from a large, religious family, hers being Mormon. Not surprisingly, the Mormon religious is  very strict and highly oppressive of women. As a little girl she wasn’t allowed to have Barbie dolls because they could be undressed and seen nude.  Later, Michelle’s mother, Diana Hamilton, confessed she was consumed with guilt over her daughter’s involvement in pornography. She wondered “was it because I went through a divorce? Because I raised her in the church?  Was it because I’m not rich enough, not humble enough?” Although Diane appeared genuinely remorseful, she didn’t discuss her daughter’s oppressive upbringing. She carefully masked it with “was it because I raised her in the church?” but she will not dig any deeper than that,. Eventually Diana revealed that Michelle’s father was “totally disgusted by it, and embarrassed, and very, very sad.” Finally, she admitted that when Michelle was fourteen she was molested by an “older boy”. One wonders if her father was another molester?

Michelle stayed in the industry long enough to pay for her sister to graduate from college. Her last film was a degrading project where she was given to twelve men who appeared to gang rape her. Afterward, Michelle cried for hours. At that point, she hung up her stilettos and returned home to Utah and her Mormon family for one year. Ultimately, the lure of the money brought her back to Los Angeles again and, displaying a complete lack of reality, she insisted she would avoid the “hard stuff.” However she was no longer wanted by World Modelling or its associate film producers. Instead, Michelle flew to Prague for a starring role in a feature film which, once more, led to scenes that were unexpected, painful and degrading. Michelle remained in the porn industry and didn’t return home a second time to Utah. Michelle suffered a breakdown and attempted suicide. She was hospitalized for a time to recover from her emotional trauma. She wept in the documentary and admitted “I don’t like myself at all.”

Industry Profile
The average age in the porn industry is 18. The average career length is 2 years. Although porn stars make very good money, they have no health care and are continually exposed to STDs.  Although she was fortunate enough to be in the porn industry before the onset of AIDS in America, Colleen contracted herpes, the incurable STD that was horrific in its day. Lara Rox (left) worked in porn films for four months and contracted HIV from one of its male stars; she made this discovery while watching the news and seeing her picture posted onscreen. People who pack pornographic film at warehouses are given Hepatitis B vaccines; the actors are not. Animals in the films (we won’t even discuss that) are treated more humanely than the women. Animal rights groups attend the sets during filming to assure they aren’t being abused.  

It’s par for the course that porn stars are lied to continually; they arrive for what is supposed to be a photographic shoot and discover it is actually an X-Rated film. A porn queen may be told she will be starring in an erotic film, but discover she is expected to participated in very explicit, disturbing scenes. The majority of porn film now involves multiple penetration and violent sexual acts. One-on-one missionary or oral sex scenes are fast becoming a thing of the past; group sex and simulated rapes are in high demand.

In the 20/20 documentary, Jim South reported that a bikini photography shoot paid $100.00; a topless photograph paid $200.00. Of course a full-nude centerfold pays $5,000.00. South is filmed pressuring a young woman into maintaining a career in pornographic film. When recruiting new talent, he sells them with the assurance that, “the money, of course, is excellent.” When South discussed the girls’ exposure to HIV with Diane Sawyer he stated, “of course they’re scared. You’re looking at something that can kill you.” 

Pornography and Society
Aside from the psychological and physical damage that is done to young women in the porn industry, porn affects ordinary women outside the industry. Many men become addicted to watching pornography, and frequently, it becomes more hardcore over the years. Not surprisingly, these men insist on more forceful and invasive acts with their wives. When wives refuse, men seek out hookers and pay for the service. Men also consider their girlfriends and wives to be less attractive than women porn stars. Porn addicts often become impotent with their partner. In extreme cases, this leads to divorce. Why the rise in damaged relationships? The Internet makes accessing pornography extremely easy.

From a criminal perspective, 83% of rapists and 67% of child sexual abusers, regularly view hardcore pornography. A man who regularly views pornography doubles the odds that he will sexually assault his partner. Ted Bundy once offered the suggestion that his early exposure to violent, hardcore pornography was an experience that affected him long before he became a serial rapist and murderer.

 Colleen’s Suicide
When rumors reached Jake in jail about Colleen’s behavior, he ordered her out of his house. Terribly depressed, she contacted one of her high school friends, who flew to Los Angeles to help Colleen pack and return home. For a time, Colleen sat on Jake’s bed, unable to move, and staring desolated at the floor. Then, a gunshot rang out from Jake Erhlich’s bedroom. Colleen’s friend hurried into the room and found her sprawled on the bed, a hunting rifle in her hand and a hole in the wall over her head. Colleen was rushed to the hospital. She was in a coma and placed on life support. Two days later, Karen Applegate flew to Los Angeles and made the difficult decision to remove Colleen from life support. Phil Applegate wasn’t present when his daughter officially died. Colleen was 20 years old.

Colleen’s remaining sparse, private remnants from her life, so few as to fit into a single shoebox, belong to two different people: Colleen’s cheerleader letters and family pictures, and a Hustler magazine with Shauna Grant on the cover. It’s as though she couldn’t reconcile one identity with the other. Bobby Hollander stated “I don’t know which scared her more.” Perhaps the chasm between the ordinary girl and the porn queen was too wide for Colleen. Regret and guilt of a nice, Catholic girl, and ambition and drug habit of a porn star, were at odds with one another: in the end, neither survived.

Post Script
in 1999, fifteen years after her death, Detective Jackson of the Palm Springs Police Department released the statement that: We are confident that it  was suicide and not homicide. She was a troubled young woman with a drug habit that included cocaine.”  Karen Applegate insisted she “didn’t know how bad her life was until after she had already died.” In spite of the sex and stained reputation, Colleen’s parents look back at her youthful beauty with a mix of sorrow and pride. No one fully recovers from the death of a child.  Frontline coined her documentary Death of a Porn Queen. For the Applegate family, it was the death of their little girl and first-born child, Colleen, a name meaning “Godly Woman.”

Colleen Applegate is buried in St, Michael’s Cemetery in Farmington, Minnesota. She lies in the quietest place where there are no rumors, real or imagined.