forensics

Posthumous Perspective on a Porn Queen

Early Life
Colleen Applegate
was a gorgeous platinum blonde who lived in Farmington, Minnesota.  She left home at 18 for Los Angeles, California, and would only return home to Minnesota two years later for her funeral and burial. She died in Los Angeles after two brief but tumultuous, years in the pornography industry. Her story began like anyone else’s. She had what appeared to be an ordinary life. Her mother Karen insists there was “nothing strange about her childhood. She had a very ordinary childhood.” Colleen had four siblings in a Roman Catholic family. She was the eldest of five children. She was a cheerleader, popular and usually had a boyfriend. She and Karen, however, didn’t seem to share a good relationship, at least not once Colleen reached her teens.  Karen was very strict with Colleen. She saw the world in black and white terms: “to me right’s right and wrong’s wrong…but they’re going to do what they vlcsnap370023want to do anyway.”  Karen and Colleen fought about the type of issues that arise between all mothers and daughters: curfews, boys, homework. It’s easy to envision screaming matches and brooding silences between mother and daughter. Colleen probably stayed out all night from time to time to avoid her mother, and slipped out whenever she was grounded. Analysis: People who belong to organized religion seem to have very defined perimeters for behavior. Morality is exceptionally important and, in extreme cases, normal childhood stages can be treated as abhorrent behavior.

Colleen’s father, Phil, admits he “was a tough father” and that he “tried to run a house like a business.” It’s doubtful that there was any physical abuse, but Colleen didn’t appear to be an especially happy girl. A good colleenfriend of hers named Lisa Sikinater, commented “she always appeared happier than she was.” Karen states that her relationship with Colleen was fine until her junior and senior year of high school when she began dating a boy named Mike Marcel. The two made an attractive, young, blonde couple. Something about the Marcel boy troubled Karen, however. It may simply have been that the mother-daughter bond was already deteriorated beyond repair, or there may have been a legitimate reason for Karen’s disapproval of Mike.

Colleen’s friends remember she had dreams of becoming a model. For a small town of less than 4,000, Colleen had glamorous, yet vague ambition. In a decidedly un-glamorous move, while working one night at the phone company, she swallowed a bottle of pills. Her parents both insisted she didn’t want to kill herself; she wanted attention. Karen was

ShaunaGrantFinalPhotoShoot26very angry with her. The family attended one therapy session and didn’t return. Karen commented that they sat around and “no one was saying anything.” Later, Karen decided it was “a beginning sign of a problem”. Many people gossiped about Colleen afterward and she and Mike headed to California. Analysis: Colleen tried to kill herself and her parents’ reaction was one of apathy and anger. Neither parent believed her suicide attempt was sincere. This is an abnormal parental reaction to a child’s suicide attempt. Refusing to discuss Colleen’s obviously severe emotional problems and attending only one therapy session reflected that fact.

World Modelling and Jim South
The small town of Farmington was soon abuzz with rumors about Colleen and her attempted overdose. In response, she and Mike left Farmington and relocated in Los Angeles. Work was very difficult for them to find. Colleen found herself in the porn industry quite by accident. Mike found an ad called “World Modelling“, run by Jim South. Without knowing what “figure modelling” meant, he sent Colleen there to audition. After she ShaunaGrantcompleted one job, he discovered the pictures were of soft porn; they showed a fresh-faced Colleen, bare-breasted, posing in a cowgirl outfit. Mike was furious and ordered her not to return, but she refused to be controlled, much the same way she had with her parents. Mike ended the relationship and returned to Farmington, where he spread the news that Colleen was involved in pornography. Analysis: For the first time Colleen is truly alone in the world. She has left her family and friends behind and is struggling to make a living through pornography. For a young woman who had been raised in a strict Roman Catholic household, her situation must have been overwhelming. Colleen took the work for practical reasons: she needed money, However, Colleen deliberately remained with World Modelling because it was a rebellious reaction to her strict, oppressive upbringing.

Penthouse photographer, Steve Hicks, worked with Colleen. He stated she was very unaware of her own beauty. Generally, that happens in families where children aren’t encouraged about their personal traits or life goals. Interestingly, most of the girls who arrive at World Modelling are from the Mid-West. The majority of them are emotionally fragile; a euphemism for oppressed, sexually abused, and alone in the world. Hicks claimed Colleen took to nude modelling with ease. “It’s unfortunate that Mother Nature puts 18 year old girls on this planet with beautiful bodies, because the mind of an 18 year old girl is not prepared to make the right kind of decisions in  
this town, with these opportunities”. Y
et. he is happy to use those 18 year old girls to make his living. Hicks claimed he urged Colleen to get out of nude modelling as soon as possible, since it “leads downhill; after all the magazines have used her, the only thing left is X-rated movies.

When two of Colleen’s good friends visited her in Los Angeles. they were confronted with Colleen’s idea of nude modelling: explicit pictures of her in Velvet, Hardcore, and Erotica stunned them. They’d pictured hustlesoftcore magazines, such as Playboy. Colleen went so far as to try to manipulate her friends into joining World Modelling, and told them she’d made appointments for them with Jim South. She lied stating they “wouldn’t have to take their clothes off.” Her friends refused, and offered to find Colleen a regular job back in Farmington, but Colleen wasn’t interested. She simply wouldn’t return where she felt she wasn’t wanted. Analysis: Colleen’s already shaky self-esteem meant she felt poorly about her career and tried to reassure herself by inviting her friends into nude modelling,. It was very important to her that her friends continue to respect and love her, even though she degraded herself. The nude modelling and reassurances from photographers about her beauty, were substitutes for the love and affection she once sought from her parents.

Bobby Hollander
When her parents discovered Colleen was involved in pornography, they flew to Los Angeles and confronted Jim South. He passed them Colleen’s book and insisted she was of age and consent. They tried to bring her home with them and of course, she refused. She didn’t tell them her address and after they returned home, they were unable to collcontact her for two months. Not long after her parents’ departure, a porn director named Bobby Hollander recruited her for his films. Colleen’s first soft core pornographic film was called Paper Dolls. He insisted to Frontline that the days when a girl had to sleep with someone to get into a film were over, and that he didn’t try to “take [her[ to bed”.  By the time she went into film, she had only been nude modelling for 2 months.  Just as Steve Hicks had forewarned, now she was on her way into pornographic film. Among her films were Electric Blue 10, Goddess,  Suzy Superstar,  (and another Suzy Superstar clip)
Analysis: Colleen’s parents never had control over her in Farmington during her high school year. it was ridiculous for them to think they could control her in Los Angeles,where she now lived on her own and supported herself. Their efforts were too little too late. If anything, they fueled her fire to defy them.

Jake Ehrlich
Jake Ehrlich,
a drug dealer in Los Angeles, saw a picture of Colleen in Penthouse magazine and approached Hollander about meeting his “fantasy.” When Colleen met him, he was surprised: she looked like a young, farm girl, maybe fifteen or sixteen at the most. But that very night, Colleen stayed overnight at his house and never left. Officially, Jake and Colleen became a couple, not a good situation for Colleen, who had begun to dabble in cocaine. When Lisa Sikinator visited Colleen at Jake’s home, they had a party where drugs were being used by everyone present. Lisa recalls using a drug called “Jerry’s Kids“, because “it makes you feel retarded.” After this frightening experience, Lisa never visited Colleen again.

For a time, Colleen was very happy. She quit the porn industry, living off of her affluent boyfriend. She even contacted Karen for recipes and to colleentalk about her happy relationship with Jake. Eventually, however, Jake was arrested for dealing cocaine and was sent to prison for 2 years.  In the meantime, Colleen returned to pornographic film to support herself and her drug habit. She remained at Jake’s house, holding parties and spending great amounts of his money. During that time, Colleen was a presenter at the 8th Annual Erotic Film Awards, and three of her earlier performances were nominated. Seated at her table was Francis Ford Coppola. A shame he didn’t recruiter her for a real Hollywood vehicle. Colleen discovered she was still very much in demand for hardcore porn. That very evening she was signed to a new erotic film and was to begin filming in 8 days. It was exactly 7 days before her suicide.

Young Women, Porn and Profits – Michelle Hamilton
ABC’s 20/20
interviewed Michelle,  a former porn star, about her degrading and dangerous foray into the pornographic industry. Like Colleen, she was a cheerleader in high school and hailed from a large, religious family, hers being Mormon. Not surprisingly, the diane-sawyer-world-newsMormon religious is  very strict and highly oppressive of women. As a little girl she wasn’t allowed to have Barbie dolls because they could be undressed and seen nude.  Later, Michelle’s mother, Diana Hamilton, confessed she was consumed with guilt over her daughter’s involvement in pornography. She wondered “was it because I went through a divorce? Because I raised her in the church?  Was it because I’m not rich enough, not humble enough?” Although Diane appeared genuinely remorseful, she didn’t discuss her daughter’s oppressive upbringing. She carefully masked it with “was it because I raised her in the church?” but she will not dig any deeper than that,. Eventually Diana revealed that Michelle’s father was “totally disgusted by it, and embarrassed, and very, very sad.” Finally, she admitted that when Michelle was fourteen she was molested by an “older boy”. One wonders if her father was another molester?

Michelle stayed in the industry long enough to pay for her sister to graduate from college. Her last film was a degrading project where she was given to twelve men who appeared to gang rape her. Afterward, mormonwomen1234Michelle cried for hours. At that point, she hung up her stilettos and returned home to Utah and her Mormon family for one year. Ultimately, the lure of the money brought her back to Los Angeles again and, displaying a complete lack of reality, she insisted she would avoid the “hard stuff.” However she was no longer wanted by World Modelling or its associate film producers. Instead, Michelle flew to Prague for a starring role in a feature film which, once more, led to scenes that were unexpected, painful and degrading. Michelle remained in the porn industry and didn’t return home a second time to Utah. Michelle suffered a breakdown and attempted suicide. She was hospitalized for a time to recover from her emotional trauma. She wept in the documentary and admitted “I don’t like myself at all.”

Industry Profile
The average age in the porn industry is 18. The average career length is 2 years. Although porn stars make very good money, they have no health lara-roxx-tshirtcare and are continually exposed to STDs.  Although she was fortunate enough to be in the porn industry before the onset of AIDS in America, Colleen contracted herpes, the incurable STD that was horrific in its day. Lara Rox (left) worked in porn films for four months and contracted HIV from one of its male stars; she made this discovery while watching the news and seeing her picture posted onscreen. People who pack pornographic film at warehouses are given Hepatitis B vaccines; the actors are not. Animals in the films (we won’t even discuss that) are treated more humanely than the women. Animal rights groups attend the sets during filming to assure they aren’t being abused.  

It’s par for the course that porn stars are lied to continually; they arrive for what is supposed to be a photographic shoot and discover it is actually an X-Rated film. A porn queen may be told she will be starring in an erotic film, but discover she is expected to participated in very explicit, disturbing scenes. The majority of porn film now involves multiple penetration and violent sexual acts. One-on-one missionary or oral sex scenes are fast becoming a thing of the past; group sex and simulated rapes are in high demand.

In the 20/20 documentary, Jim South reported that a bikini photography shoot paid $100.00; a topless photograph paid $200.00. Of course a full-KONICA MINOLTA DIGITAL CAMERAnude centerfold pays $5,000.00. South is filmed pressuring a young woman into maintaining a career in pornographic film. When recruiting new talent, he sells them with the assurance that, “the money, of course, is excellent.” When South discussed the girls’ exposure to HIV with Diane Sawyer he stated, “of course they’re scared. You’re looking at something that can kill you.” 

Pornography and Society
Aside from the psychological and physical damage that is done to young women in the porn industry, porn affects ordinary women outside the industry. Many men become addicted to watching pornography, and frequently, it becomes more hardcore over the years. Not surprisingly, these men insist on more forceful and invasive acts with their wives. When wives refuse, men seek out hookers and pay for the service. Men also consider their girlfriends and wives to be less attractive than women porn stars. Porn addicts often become impotent with their partner. In extreme cases, this leads to divorce. Why the rise in damaged relationships? The Internet makes accessing pornography extremely easy.

From a criminal perspective, 83% of rapists and 67% of child sexual abusers, regularly view hardcore pornography. A man who regularly views pornography doubles the odds that he will sexually assault his partner. Ted Bundy once offered the suggestion that his early exposure to violent, hardcore pornography was an experience that affected him long before he became a serial rapist and murderer.

 Colleen’s Suicide
When rumors reached Jake in jail about Colleen’s behavior, he ordered shauna4her out of his house. Terribly depressed, she contacted one of her high school friends, who flew to Los Angeles to help Colleen pack and return home. For a time, Colleen sat on Jake’s bed, unable to move, and staring desolated at the floor. Then, a gunshot rang out from Jake Erhlich’s bedroom. Colleen’s friend hurried into the room and found her sprawled on the bed, a hunting rifle in her hand and a hole in the wall over her head. Colleen was rushed to the hospital. She was in a coma and placed on life support. Two days later, Karen Applegate flew to Los Angeles and made the difficult decision to remove Colleen from life support. Phil Applegate wasn’t present when his daughter officially died. Colleen was 20 years old.

Colleen’s remaining sparse, private remnants from her life, so few as to collfit into a single shoebox, belong to two different people: Colleen’s cheerleader letters and family pictures, and a Hustler magazine with Shauna Grant on the cover. It’s as though she couldn’t reconcile one identity with the other. Bobby Hollander stated “I don’t know which scared her more.” Perhaps the chasm between the ordinary girl and the porn queen was too wide for Colleen. Regret and guilt of a nice, Catholic girl, and ambition and drug habit of a porn star, were at odds with one another: in the end, neither survived.

Post Script
in 1999, fifteen years after her death, Detective Jackson of the Palm Springs Police Department released the statement that: We are confident that it  was suicide and not homicide. She was a troubled young woman with a drug habit that included cocaine.”  Karen Applegate insisted she “didn’t know how bad her life was until after she had already died.” In spite of the sex and stained reputation, Colleen’s parents look back at her youthful beauty with a mix of sorrow and pride. No one fully recovers from the death of a child.  Frontline coined her documentary Death of a Porn Queen. For the Applegate family, it was the death of their little girl and first-born child, Colleen, a name meaning “Godly Woman.

Colleen Applegate is buried in St, Michael’s Cemetery in Farmington, Minnesota. She lies in the quietest place where there are no rumors, real or imagined.

30 thoughts on “Posthumous Perspective on a Porn Queen

  1. Colleen was not going back to Minnesota, she would never go back there. There wasn’t anyone in Farmington that respected her or treated her with kindness. Even her best girlfriends were a bunch of two faced judgemental phonies to her. Her attempts to maintain friendships with Colleen , Brenda, Theresa were so important to her at first, and when they visited her they did not mind her spending money on them and the gifts she bought them, but when they left back to Farmington Colleen would tell me that she knew they were going home to talk about her and they were not loyal to her anymore. This made her sad and mad. She was determined to change their minds after she moved to Palm Springs and quit the film Bizz .
    She did not live off Jake Erlich, she had her own money and she managed a Leather Clothing Store that Jake owned in downtown Palm Springs. She loved being a homemaker,she kept a nice home and cooked great dinners .
    The night she died many people were there partying. Two of her friends from Minnesota were there,along with a few neighbors. Making Margaritas. And shooting pool. I spoke to her right before she shot herself, no one was helping her pack. She was alone, locked in her room and pissed off at everyone there for not helping her. She was listening to YES 90214 ?? “Owner of a lonely Heart” our favorite song at that time. She was moving to my house on Oakhurst dr. Beverly Hills,Ca. She had films lined up so money wasn’t a problem. She didn’t want back in that Bizz,but needed the financial security. I was going to teach her make-up and pay her to assist me. Also we had many connections to work in production of films. She wasn’t suicidal, but she was feeling dramatic. That gun was always in the corner of the closet loaded,but had a safety. I’ve always believed she was just checking it out in that room with wall to wall mirrors, poseing with the rifle when it went off. Jake said it had a hair trigger that would go off with barely a touch. She really didn’t mean to do it. I got the call right after it happened. I was on my way out with John Milleous to dinner. He immediately drove me to Palm Springs to the house. It was a nightmare. After talking to police John took me to hospital where I saw her and spoke to doctors. After hearing she was probably brain dead but they had to wait for test results. Told me I better call her family. I went back to the house,called mrs. Applegate she practically accused me of murdering Colleen, but I knew it was just her grief. She hopped a plane immediately and arrived by sun up that next morning. Not 2 days later. I was in shock and felt I had to clean up as much blood as I could before her parents got there. I had to put sheets through 3 washes to get all the brain matter and tissue that stuck to the sheets. I don’t know how I made it through that night,but I did. I lost my best friend that night,and still think of her every year on May 30th…her birthday,and when I hear songs we use to sing together. So much 411 about this tragedy has been inaccurate. I have just discovered these articles and videos. As I avoid Internet and gossip if I can.
    I just wanted to set some of these claims straight 30 years later. Maybe I should write a book…..everyone else does these days.
    I Love You Colleen, you were a beautiful person inside and out.
    Funny,Sensitive,A great writer and my Kindrid Spirit Forever…We. Had a Saying “Is Nothing Sacred?” I still think that,because its true…. RIP my friend love Laurie

    1. Incredible that you knew her. However I would argue that your view of Colleen is not wholly accurate. Colleen chose to go into pornography. There is nothing beautiful inside about that. Her films were hard core as were her magazine pictures. To me this is amoral behaviour, whether or not she was in need of money. She wasn’t suicidal but feeling dramatic? I would have to understand what your definition of dramatic is…to me anyone who takes a loaded rifle with a hair trigger and puts it to her head is definitely suicidal. Jake was under the impression that she was living off his money. Well that is his perspective. We’ll never know the full truth. Don’t forget that Colleen was a regular cocaine user, an addict, and her perspective about her friends gossiping about her and pretty much any other information she told you is bound to be paranoid and a lot of it would be false. Were you a person in the porn industry? You have added an interesting perspective to a tragic life.

      1. Actually I would say that Laurie’s view of Colleen is accurate because she was a close friend of hers…both worked in the porn industry. Laurie also did her makeup, as stated. Laurie seems to have been the only person who truly cared about her when she was at her lowest point.

        Also, you are right in that Colleen chose to do porn but you do come across as making a value judgment about her as a person with several of your statements.
        Some people define having sex for money and posing nude as “amoral” behavior but there are far worse things that a person can do. Sex is not evil or sinful…except if it harms another individual. Her actions might have upset her mother but ultimately, it was Colleen herself who paid the price. She was a good person who made some bad choices. Have you never made mistakes in your life?

        We must also remember that Jake didn’t come by his money in an honest way…he sold drugs. So even if she was indeed “living off his money” he was also not an upstanding citizen. He was a much older drug dealer taking advantage of a young girl with emotional problems. It is easy to criticize porn stars but we need to bear in mind that they are human and many of them need compassion, not scorn.

  2. I do know the real truth. I was a performer in adult films for about 6 years. 1978-1984, I put myself through make-up school in 1980 so I’d have a craft to fall back on after I quit films. I did hair and make-up on all my films and still shootings and became one of the best make-up artists / hair stylists in that Bizz . When Colleen first arrived at Jim Souths office with Mike…her boyfriend from Minnesota I was there. My boyfriend Bob Veze was one of the top photographers,so Jim would give him first pick of all new hot girls..I did make-up for Bobs shootings and he had just started shooting for the new Playboy Cable Station..
    The moment I met Colleen we clicked, she was so nervous until
    I finished her hair and make-up and she saw how beautiful and totally different she looked… She was in demand as soon as her pictures came out and insisted I did her hair and face and nails on all her jobs and we spent a lot of time together…. We had so much fun just hanging out, loved same music…she was so thoughtful and sweet…my point is we were 24/7 best friends…..
    We were always together and shared everything, until she moved to Palm Springs with Jake. She introduced me to Jakes
    Partner and I was going out with him and spending a lot of time
    In Palm Springs with Colleen and Jake. So I will tell you I knew
    The whole situation….financial, personal,and spiritual. She was
    Packing to move to my house in Beverly Hills, she was going to assist me with my make-up and hair jobs and didn’t have to do
    Porn if she didn’t want to….she had started Dating the brother
    Of a friend of mine… He was a couple years older,cute and had
    Brand new convertible corvette….Colleen was going to be OK.
    I had her mini cassette recorder with all her tiny tapes of her
    Feelings and thoughts….A journal of sorts.
    She recorded her thoughts that night before the gun went off.
    She was mad at Brenda and Colleen from Minnesota and the guy that was with them… No one was helping her pack….
    They were just using her house,drinking her alcohol after she died they all began to lie and exaggerate and create an image
    Of my best friend, that was never true…..then there are the
    Judgmental moralists like you who have no real facts yet
    Feel you have the right to claim ?? Facts?? You don’t know!
    And tarnish the memory of an incredible young woman and
    Judging what you do not know for sure.
    She had no cocaine for 3 days prior to shooting, the drug is gone
    From system in 72 hours….just so you know
    PEACE -LOVE- UNDERSTANDING

    1. Personally I wouldn’t consider myself to be a judgmental moralist. If you re-read the blog you will see I am sympathetic with Colleen. I feel her parents did her an injustice in the way they raised her. Her father clearly was nothing more than a disciplinarian. Her mother was rigid and cold. They drove Colleen out of their home. There wasn’t much else she could do to support herself in L.A. except porn. I understand that. I think it’s sad and I do believe she didn’t feel happy about her life at the end, in spite of your recollections. I also don’t believe she was murdered. That makes no sense. Who would have a motive and why?

      1. I believe Laurie called you a judgmental moralist because of your statement about Colleen being “amoral” due to her work in porn. Since she was Colleen’s friend who knew her intimately, it is only natural that she would defend Colleen who has been dead 30 years now. I will admit that I wanted to defend Colleen too, because being a porn star or working in the sex industry doesn’t make somebody a bad person. Maybe it means that they make bad choices but they aren’t necessarily a bad person. I think most people outside of the industry don’t see this, though. They assume that porn/stripping/escorting= a corrupt person with no values whatsoever.
        The truth is that many porn stars are kind, caring people who have chosen (for whatever reason) to earn money by engaging in sex. I can understand how some people might feel disgusted by what they do, but they are still human beings with feelings. Maybe for some people, this is the only way they can earn a living. Not everyone has access to opportunities or education or empowerment. Sadly, some people must sell their bodies in order to survive or even to afford food and a place to sleep.

        This second response of yours is much kinder and more understanding. I agree…Colleen seems to have suffered from severe depression, as well as her cocaine addiction. I don’t believe she was happy either. And I also agree with your point about how the murder theory makes no sense, because who would have the motive and why? That is a good point.
        It seems pretty obvious that Colleen died by her own hand.

  3. hellow my name is jack (Jake) Ehrlich Thats right. I Still Live IN Palm Springs Ca. 75 Years Old And Still Trying To Make A Buck I Have Lots of Storys To Tell And Things That Belonged To Colleen And I If you Want To If You Want Try and You Could Try And E Mail Idiots Need Not Reply.

    1. You say you are still trying to make a buck. Does this mean you are no longer in the drug “business?” Your email doesn’t convince me that you are who you say you are due to its many grammatical errors. Can you offer proof that you are Jake Ehrlich?

      1. marilyn4ever .you said you need proof. well you could contact lauire smith the last time i saw lauire is when i gave her a small t.v. for her new car.

      2. interesting. not that I plan on going out of my way to contact this person. What is it you are doing now for a living?

      3. marilyn4ever sorry it took so long to get back to you. i dont work iam 75 years old and weight 80 lbs a little sick. iam trying to raise a little cash. on the letters she worte me and letters from her mother and other things i might have of hers. i dont even know if you will get this reply because i just got this computer a few months ago.i think i gave you enough information about me. jake ehrlich

      4. It didn’t take you forever to reply. I am sorry to hear of your current condition. I assume you have attempted to publish you memoirs that include your experience with Colleen and perhaps appeared on television talk shows in order to make an income? I wish you the best.

  4. Jake, a few questions for you…..with all the stuff that you have from Colleen, why don’t you send her personal effects, the letters that her mother wrote her, etc back to her mother/family in Minnesota rather than try and make money? I mean, she lost her daughter in a very agonizing way. Be a man, honor her memory and do the right thing. Cashing in on someone like you are proposing is scummy. I know that there is no retirement plans for convicted drug dealers, but get your money a different way.

    I mean, its obvious that you have no class and you took advantage of her by means of addiction back then and you didn’t give a shit, so why would you change now at 75?

    Another question I do have for you though…..if she got upset enough to take the rifle out one time and you took it away from her, for Christ’s sake, why didn’t you get rid of the gun after that or at least take the bullets and magazines and separate them? Were you worried that a drug client was going to knock you over or something and thought you needed it? It was obvious that you were dealing with someone who had depression and dependency issues and you left a loaded firearm in your house? You’re either the stupidest fuck on the face of the earth or you just really didn’t care about her. You’re probably both, in my opinion.

    One thing holds true here……once a sociopath, always a sociopath.

    1. I dont know that Jake was a sociopath but he certainly was a man of loose morals. I’m guilty of suggesting he make money from his experiences with Colleen. Your perspective is also valid.

    2. well ryan where did you come from . you sound like a angry parent . as you will notice i cannot spell. you have questions i will try and answer some of them. i treated l treated collen like a human being with respect i never abused her i let her do what ever she wanted to do . the only thing bad was to not or unable was to love her the way she loved me. i make the same mistakes all the time was to move them in to fast .but no one treated her better then me. send her mother back the letters no way if you read them you would understand her mother was ice cold. colleen came to california with a lot of problems.the business i was in i had to have some type of protection because somebody tried to break in a couple of times. why dint i do that and do this.it was the 80s a lot people were in the fast lane. after you call me stupid a fuck and a sociopath and classless some of it at one time might have been true ill admit it .but ryan what is your problem and what are you doing in the porn section of your computer .thank you marilyn4ever.

      1. You are more than welcome Jake. I certainly sensed Colleen’s mother was ice cold watching her documentary. What disturbed me was the emotionless manner in which she discussed her daughter’s life and then after the death, the harvesting of her organs. Doesn’t get any colder than that.

  5. I am not writing this to criticize your spelling, grammar, incomplete sentences or anything else related to the form or function of the English language. I am not an angry parent, nor am I connected to her family in any way, shape or form. I just can’t believe how she was used and why you didn’t forcefully intervene. You were a 44 year old man at the time. Was it just because she was good looking, naive, and had a coke habit? I am wondering why you just didn’t let her stay at your place while you went to the joint? Why you didn’t get rid of the gun after her first attempt (where you stopped her). If you had a problem with burglars, go get a fucking Doberman Pinscher. Colleen needed help, stability and someone to care for her. That someone needed to ALWAYS be there for her.

    In regard to her mother: who cares if she is ice cold or not. Who cares what is in the letters. That’s of no consequence. Somewhere in the back of her Mothers mind, Colleen is there. Her first born, the child that she raised, and the daughter that she once had. I would bet real money that on some level, she thinks about her daily in some form and wishes she had something more to hold onto. If this is possible for you, put yourself in her Mothers shoes. How would you feel if that was your child? Could you just write that child off and forget about them? I don’t think so.

    Jake, listen to what I am telling you here: Put the stuff into a box, get her Mom’s address, and mail it to her. Even if her Mom gets it and throws it in the trash, at least you can say with clear conscious that you did the right thing…..you’re never going to know anyway.

    1. If Colleen’s mother does throw her belongings in the trash, that ascertains she was a cold woman. That is significant where Colleen was concerned. I always felt that girl wouldn’t have entered the porn industry and probably wouldn’t have left home (certainly wouldn’t have attemtped suicide) if she’d had a loving mother.

    2. hellow ryan. your asking me a lot of questions i will try to answer some of them.did i use her YES to a point but i tried to give more then i took. i was 44 years old and she was 19 at the time. after the first few weeks it came to me what did i do again i move them in to fast i dint think at the time i only thought of my needs. then the guilt came they all become a big responsibility. boy do i pay for my needs.when i got busted i handed her two thousand dollars and told her pay my bills in the house i found out later while i was in the county jail i made some phone calls i would call the store the store was closed then i called a friend of hers and friend told me that she was moving to L.A. and she was on her way to palm springs get what she could get my store had about 40 k in it and other things of value in my house.so i called my friend to go to palm springs and get the house and the store keys from her. does that answer your question why dint i let her live there i would have given her money to move to L A. as far as the rifle if i new of the out come of course i would have gotten rid of it as far as the mothers letter i have not read it in years the story will never be sold i will tear it up before i mail it to her mother the mother does have to reminded with letter and ryan your making to much about the letter. ryan how old are you and what do you do for a living jake

      1. It must be very difficult for you to keep justifying yourself after several decades since the girl’s death. There are a number of people who understand this story – I trust only 2 at the moment: you and Colleen and of course Colleen will never be able to speak for herself again.

  6. Maybe I am making too much of it…..maybe it isn’t that important, but as a parent, I would want it. If you have never been a parent, then you can’t possibly understand.

    Read the last paragraph from this article in People from 1988. It seems that Karen Applegate does still keep mementos about Colleen:

    http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20098484,00.html

    1. Karen Applegate is seeking media attention 20 years after her daughter’s death? And why go public with this? If she had been my daughter I would have nothing to say to the press. p.s. Applegate gets paid for these interviews.

      1. to marilyn and ryan. i hope you guys don,t mind me getting in on your conversations. was there another people article after the 1988 one regarding karen getting paid for her interviews. I remember years back that she was going on some type of tour talking about her daughter and family.marilyn would like to know where you got the information about karen is seeking media attention was this 20 years ago or recently ? the last interview i think i gave was in 1991 after that I din,t hear about any other t.v. shows about colleen. It seems that you guys have more information the stories then i do. ryan I read the letter last night it made me a little sick rejection rejection rejection. But ryan in the letter there was love and prayer .p.S. colleen could not take rejection very well colleen wanted everybody to like her and would do anything I mean anything if you get the drift wow it was rejection that did it that night for her. jake

  7. Copy and paste the link I posted above into your browser. Here is the last article from that paragraph that I was referring to below:

    Karen keeps other mementos of Colleen—her first-communion photo, her class portraits—in an upstairs closet. Mixed among them are letters from women who say they knew Colleen in L.A. and quit the porn business when she died. One, handwritten on lined paper, reads: “She saved my life. I wish I could have been there to save hers.”

    1. Interesting contribution but I tend to believe the man who was involved with Colleen and knew her intimately over you. No offence.

  8. I was in the movie Colleen was due to work on, Matinee Idol. They brought in Chelsea Manchester /Tigr to replace her. I remember thinking it was bad luck that Colleen took up with Bobby Hollander before she could figure out who was okay and who wasn’t. There were a lot of perfectly decent people in the business back then but Hollander was , in my opinion, sleazy. BTW, the idea that we were all in porn because we couldn’t do anything else is way off. Nina Hartley had an RN, Ron Jeremy was a former teacher, I’m in Mensa. A lot of us of us just didn’t think sex was dirty.and actually liked the work. Personally, I’ve felt bad seeing grown women working under some punk butthole in Walmart for minimum wage and thought, “Now THAT’S degrading! lol
    All the best, Colleen Brennan

    1. Ron Jeremy, one of the sleaziest creatures I’ve ever seen in a documentary, was a teacher? Thank God he gave up teaching. He isn’t a teacher I’d want teaching my child. You were in mensa? I guess they’re letting anybody in these days. You might want to ascribe to the words of the immortal Winston Churchill: I wouldn’t be a member of any club that would have me for a member.

  9. I’m looking for Bob Veze, whom I worked with about 20 years ago. According to IMDB, he died in 2008 at the age of 61. I hope that’s not true. I do remember his writing partner, Bob Hollander. The project I did for Bob was titled A.V.A. And it co-starred me and Ron Kologie.

    1. I’m sorry I cannot help you. I can give you the profile of a man who claims to be Jake Ehrlich, Colleen’s live-in boyfriend at the time of her death, through WordPress, as he has given me. Jake Ehlrich He may be able to help you.

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